____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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