i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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