East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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