Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
