All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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