i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
