As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
