Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
