Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Randomize
