I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
another moral hangover. fuck.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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