i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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