even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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