is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
