Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
