Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
