Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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