Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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