So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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