the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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