i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
