he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
