whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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