he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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