she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
