dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
