tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
