is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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