Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
