I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
