i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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