i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Also, beer. Big fan.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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