i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
