We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
