I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
