Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm too high and old for this...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
