Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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