I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
