between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
