I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
