Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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