Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
