her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize