Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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