I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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