My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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