Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
