I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
