guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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