Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
