all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize