hell yes lets make some ravioli
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
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I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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