needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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