Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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