Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
