Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I don't think brook has ever known best
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
