Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
