So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
