So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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