You smell like a Billy Joel song
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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