its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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