I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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