Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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