I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there's paper in my vomit.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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