recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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