I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
