i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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